Category Archives: Depression

Losing Love

The saddest sound is and empty house.
Possessed by loved one’s hanging blouse.
When it sinks in she is no longer there.
Understanding that in life, its never fair to care.

Sit here and ponder,
When it was I lost my wonder,
All I know is left in the silence,
Echoing through my house of penance.

Let my spark
flicker in the dark
Memories are a mirage
Flashing a never ending barrage

Alcohol only fuels this madness
Willing to relive the sadness
Trying to numb the truth of reality
Cursing the concept of mortality

Day after day the cycle will continue
For I can not accept this world so new
There is no living without you.

 

 


Yesterday to Tomorrow

Yesterday To Tomorrow

By Shoeless B. Wonder

Yesterday we spoke again
You, the devil’s friend
Gave birth to this demon inside of me
Every word said set it free

Today I drank to the memory of you
Hoping I will forget what is true
That this stain would come clean
But it remains obscene

Tomorrow shall come
All I want is to run
For you will fade to the past
And I’ll be stuck in the shadow you cast


Sinking

The tide of the sea is rising
Won’t be long till I am capsizing
Sinking in the silence
For my voice lost its resonance

My deeds are out cast
absorbed in the contrast
Life is at battle
Even more so with a baby’s rattle

Like a coiled snake ready to strike
You have react quick to avoid the spike
Not concerned on where you step
Only creating more to schlep

The choices you made weigh in
Consumed by your selfish sins
Unable to see a happy end
Your soul can no longer defend

As your true colors show through
Nothing you do or say is true
AS your own means is what you see
My truth is you’re dead to me

 


My Silence

My Silence

I’d used to say I love you
That all I wanted was your happiness
Though those words were once true
I realized all you wanted was my bitterness

Since I would say that I knew you
Because you knew me
But that lie left without a clue
Now we don’t know what we see

Shattered reflections of the past
Live in the back of our mind
It’s shadow still is cast
Yet there is no heart to find

Nothing turned out good in the end
Yet we cling to past that will never return
There’s not enough left to mend
Just best to leave it in the urn.

Ashes are just ashes
What we were is just that
Where light randomly flashes
No point in useless chat

So I remain in silence
For nothing more can be done
Can’t afford breathe on this failed alliance
This war is over, never to be won


Divorce Aftermath

Divorce aftermath

Alone she sits,
Alone she waits,
Alone she sees’
Alone she debates.

Smiles stay faded
Smiles stay fake
Smiles stay jaded
Smiles stay to forsake

No where to run
No where to hide
No where to be
No where to bide

Divided they fall
Divided they hate
Divided they crawl
Divided they resonate

Alone she cries
Smiles stay forbidden
No where to be safe
Divided they remain hidden


Save Me From Me

Save Me From Me

 

I have forgotten how to be strong

I have forgotten for too long

All I feel is the weakness

All I feel is the bitterness

 

This is my life now I guess

Stuck to forever regress

Can’t seem to find the will

To heal, so I remain ill

 

I can no longer feel right

As my insides become tight

Absorbed in fear

Lost in a frozen tear

 

I have become my true enemy,

I lack indemnity,

A will to live has faded

As my joy is raided

 

Going through the motions to remain sane

Though I can not see what I do gain

My world is almost over

I wonder if I can recover

 

Tired of living in troubled times

Though in my soul, nothing chimes

Abused for so long this is all I know

Could I even swim in a change of flow

 

I can’t seem to find relief

As tragedy is my motif

Shedding it all takes to much strength

From which I haven’t the length

 

Someone please bring back my smile

Stand with me through out my life’s trail

For alone I can no longer bare

Cause if left alone I have not a prayer

 

Force me down the right path to take

Shake me loose and not be fake

For I have reached this terrible limit

And all it would take is just a minute

 

Save me from myself would you please

Before I close up and finally cease

All I need is someone to guide

All I need is a ride

 

To take me to a better place

Where happiness fills its space

Where my dreams have a chance to become real

Where I can slowly begin to heal.


Living Black Cloud

Living Black Cloud

 

I am the thunder,

I am the lighting,

I am the rain,

I am whats frightening ,

I created this storm

Though I wasn’t alone

Though I am all they see

So denying would be vain

Wish you would just understand

Its not that I am not to blame

But I wasn’t the only one involved

Now all I see is pity and shame

Shame of what this has become

Pity for the parties involved

I see the scars yet to form

Cause we let this evolve

I just want to solve it

Fix it the best I can

Though life wont let me

So I am a broken man

Lost everything once

Only to lose it again

This cycle will continue

Till my better end

I am like the living black cloud

Raining on everyone around me

For my pain and sorrow are too great

For me to keep from free


Bang

BANG!
by Shoeless Boy Wonder

BANG!
the gun rang.
Silence of frozen breath

Became stagnant in the air
As I could only stare
Watching a soul leave a body

I was left so melancholy
While death walked through
Taking someone I knew

Hands holding an empty torso
Movement was a lie
As I watched him die

Soon I would cry
Soon I would Plead
Soon I would bleed

BANG!
The Gun Rang!
Silence of fading breath

Over I slump
Moving as much as a bump
I felt the pull

As I forgot the pain
As my blood left a stain
Looking at what had been done

I wait for death to come
As gun shots continue
Tearing through sinew

Screams follow as I just watch
Shaking my head as I am joined
By those taken by one purloined

Bang
The Gun Rang,
Silence of final breath

No more well I smile
No more will I frown
No longer will I be around

No more will his children see
No more will he give advise
No more will he rise

All this taken for nothing
All this given for the same
This end is just a shame.


Sin of Sacrifice

Sin of Sacrifice

By Shoeless Boy Wonder

Sitting alone in my room
I have given all to never bloom
Sacrificing everything I need
To avoid the sin of greed

My hands never hold anything
So I never feel like a king
For I am not a good man
Just a coward who always ran

Let those who need just take
No care for my own sake
I have earned only an abyss
And have forgotten bliss

Giving into others’ love
Forever to give a shove
Force them to find joy
Letting play, for I am just a toy

Defeated so others can win
I live with this sacrifice sin
Unable to say leave me be
Unable to let myself free

I create shackles to bind
So I don’t have the freedom to find
I will never rejoice
For I deny that choice

For if I were to I would only regret
All those who I hurt I would be in debt
For I could have helped them
But instead I just chose to condemn them

It may not make sense
For why I am tense
Why do this is I hate it
Why always take shit

I guess is cause I never learned
What it was like to get what you yearned
For its been just too long
And now I feel like the right in the wrong

To turn my back to those who plead
To deny them help to succeed
Would turn me into something I am not
A man with only careless thought.


Internal Snow

Internal Snow

So tired of the daily grind,
Life trapped in an endless bind,
Everyday seems the same
Shouldering all the blame

Walked on for no reason,
This constant treason,
Feels mangled when I’m fine
Lost the urge to whine

Beaten so far down
All I see is ground
Repeating every rhyme
As a clock repeats the time

I am no longer living
I’m not even surviving
I merely exist
Waiting for the next twist

Paydays come and go
Leaving nothing to show
Can’t afford to take care
Don’t even have change to spare

I’m worth more dead than alive
So where is the desire to strive
Bitter and numb I have become
Struggling to finish this rum

My life is no longer mine
I’m just a puppet held by twine
Living life for others’ needs
Desperately planting their seeds

So they will grow strong
As I will whither before long
Yet I have forgotten my dreams sometime ago
So I only clear away their winter’s snow

Help them find the sun
‘Till my energy is used up; done
For my sleet continues on
Freeze all that is wrong

So it remains, never to change
Keeping my sun out of range
For no one can clear away my snow
For no one cares to help me grow.