Anniversary of Death

Anniversary of Death,

April, is full of painful showers
Torturing memories pass the hours
Everything in April comes to an end
As I am forced down, unable to send
A call for help to save what I have gained
I will lose all I have dreamed or obtained
In this month that steals my progress
I can not win at Aprils game of chess
I am always in check, then check mate
I can never keep my head straight
This month brings the pain, its a stain
Opening my veins like a water main
Anger runs unhindered, my fuss is short
My sanity is unable to find support
This month brings, death to my dreams,
Family, relationships, everything it seems
I crawl into my self as if to retreat
From my next inevitable defeat
The twenty first comes with a  vengeance
Memories always flood in, with a fragrance
Of death, of loss, of all my failures
My soul tilting, wilting under the pressures
Huddling under covers to avoid the days
Chugging booze, falling into my old ways
April has taken away my future in the past
It will again without being asked
This anniversary of death in this month of disaster
Forever moving slower when I need it to go faster
I am trapped suffocating from the disease of spring
It will never give me a reason to stand and sing
I shall cower in my cave till this month is over
For there is no luck, no four leaf clover
That could ever change its horrid tradition
To kill my will, my joy, my love, my ambition

Today, marks my 4 years sense my mothers and grandmothers passing, also 2 years sense i found out I wouldn’t be living with my son. This month has also been home to the start of drug addictions, car crashes, losing of large sums of money, and ending of college. This month has something new every year to plague me with, so far it has caused never ending delays with finical obligations, which shall put a hold on everything i needed to not be held up and ending some great opportunities. The month is not over yet so who knows whats next, either way, each year I become more hostile towards this month.


About shoelessboywonder

Poet and cook, I'm just starting out in the web world trying to grow a fan base for my poetry, it seems like its off to a good start and the site is also made for me to improve upon my writing skills so please rate and comment on the poems you like best, feedback is the greatest way to success thanks for checking me out and my site. View all posts by shoelessboywonder

3 responses to “Anniversary of Death

  • Tara

    This is such a powerful poem. And beautifully tragic. I am sorry that this month brings so much pain for you. My life seems to go up in smoke every spring and summer too while everyone else it shiny and new. April will be over soon! Very well writen!

  • echostains

    Powerful poem shoelessboywonder! may this be the last rotton April you have! Well done to you for getting through this and for turning these negative experiences into positivity by your creativity!

  • brian

    sorry for your loss…it really is a spectacular verse and i can feel it…hope the month is kind to you…

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